Chapter : Should I?

dan sms pun dibalas..

From : Rama

" hey mate.. ini aku dah sama tia.. dia dah lebih ceria sekarang.. thanks buat sarannya..en kayanya dia suka bgt sama permen strawberry rekomendasi loe itu.."

belum sempat aku membalas sms itu, handphone ku pun berbunyi lagi

From : Rama

" oh iya.. jangan lupa makan en istirahat.. sepertinya kamu flu tuh.. pake maksa anterin ujan2 pula.. dasar bandel :P "

aku menarik bibir ini.. membentuk sebuah garis senyuman..

Rama oh rama....

aku cukup mengenalmu..5 tahun sudah umur persahabatan kita.. menjalani suka dan sedih bersama.. aku tak tahu bagaimana dan entah sejak kapan nama mu selalu ada dalam pikiranku...

sejak awal pertemuan kita kah?

sejak kamu selalu memberikan perhatian kepada ku kah?

sejak kita selalu menghabiskan waktu bersama di akhir minggu..menikmati coklat hangat favorit kita disebuah kedai sebrang kampus?

atau sejak kehadiran tia.. seorang gadis yang kau temui dan kau sebut sebagai " bidadari" itu.. yang membuat ku sadar akan pentingnya kehadiranmu?

yah mungkin..

sejak datangnya " bidadari" itu.. banyak hal yang tidak kita lewati bersama..

semula aku kira ini hanya perasaan ku..

siang itu..

aku melihat kamu duduk bersama tia.. di cafe tempat biasa kita melalui waktu bersama..

dengan segelas coklat hangat...

aku melihat mu tersenyum.. oh tidak..

kamu tertawa bahagia bersamanya...

I can't tell you what it really is

I can only tell you what  it feels like

And right now there's a steel knife

In my windpipe

I can't breathe

When i saw the two of you together.. when i saw both of you laugh.. i can't even explain how hurt i was.. each time i see that you're happy with her.. it's like a wound that keeps on bleeding..when you hold her hand.. i can't see anymore 

Just gonna stand there

And watch me burn

But that's alright

Because i like the way it hurts..

Just gonna stand there

And hear me cry

- i love the way you lie - by rihanna & eminem

Should I be happy for your happiness? As i fake a smile and shrug it off..ohh i'm dying inside. I feel like.. i can't breathe every time i see you with her... tears cloud my eyes and my hand shakes.. my voice cracks and feel the pain in my chest..

But i still fight while i can fight

As long as the wrong feels right

It's like i'm in flight

High of a love

Drunk from the hate

It's like I'm huffing paint

And i love it the more that i suffer

I suffocate

I couldn't give up for u..because what i feel is true.. My love for u keeps going..Before you, everything was in the dark and painted black but then you turned all of it into the light..

  

How can i be without you? I can't see myself walking this world alone since the day you come..

You were always there...

Should I just give up and let go? Or should I fight when I still can?

To: Rama

" hehehe.. sabtu ini jalan yuk.. dah lama ga jalan bareng"

sms pun terkirim...

hoaaammzzz

pejamkan mata masih teringat dia..

ahh.. sudahlah Rama

Biarkan malam ini aku terlelap

Sebentar saja....

dan aku pun terlelap...

20 menit kemudian.. satu pesan diterima

From: Rama

" ok juga tuh.. kabarin ajah :D "

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